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• When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears. (Actually applies to japscrap as well - esp. in Orapa!)
• If you keep these strange Imperial thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
• If Q20 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk.
• When you husband starts referring to you as "my ex-" even though you're still married.
• If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks."
• When you dream of burnt Lucas electric's when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed.
• If even Brakpan girls turn you down after they've seen your car.
• If 10kg of prime topsoil falls on the tarmac when you smack the door shut.
• When you drive in shorts during winter to avoid wet jeans.
• If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks.
• When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains.
• If you wonder why it smells so funny when you throw a cigarette butt on the floor of a rental car.
• When there are more tools in the truck than in your house.
• If you think it's essential to carry 20l of water at all times, even in Johannesburg.
• If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop.
• If you buy rear view mirrors in bulk.
• When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo & odometer.
• When you are surprised that the roadworthy certificate mentions the conditions of your seats in the report.
• If you wonder why the moss in your trucks inner window sills is greener than your lawn.
• When you are used to switching of the headlights before indicating because they interfere.
• If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by a Land Rover door lock.
• When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present.
• When your handbag contains pliers, multimeter, leathermans, insulation tape, 30 amp fuses, compass, imperial bolts and a torch.
• If you only dare to use the coin operated car wash after dark on a Sunday night.
• If friends don't want you to show up in the afternoon because they've got visitors but then they call you at 8AM on a Sunday morning because they're stuck in the forest somewhere.
• When other girls give you a 1-1/8" socket as a present - and they know you'll love it!
• You can't decide whether to park your car on a hill in case your starter fails or on a flat in case the hand brake fails.
• You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.
• You keep degreaser in the shower.
• Your mates laugh at your car until theirs needs pulling out of a ditch.
• You stop at a petrol station to fill up the oil and check the petrol level.
• Your favourite books are the parts catalogue and the repair operation manual.
• I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it because he's stuck in the forest and not becaus eof another woman.
• When you don't wory when your hubby says he's taking the Landy out for a test drive and he stays out all night long.
• When you buy dark nail varnish only to hide the black marks under your nails.
• When you ask for "Epsom Green" when buying nail varnish.
• When your living room looks like a scrap yard.
• When your dishwasher dies because of engine oil sediments.

Compliments of Bernard Cohen - LROC Vice-Chairman.