How do you know you own a Land Rover? (Thought you Toyota wussies might enjoy this......)
When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears. (Actually applies to japscrap as well - esp. in Orapa!)
If you keep these strange Imperial thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
If Q20 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk.
When you husband starts referring to you as "my ex-" even though you're still married.
If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks."
When you dream of burnt Lucas electric's when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed.
If even Brakpan girls turn you down after they've seen your car.
If 10kg of prime topsoil falls on the tarmac when you smack the door shut.
When you drive in shorts during winter to avoid wet jeans.
If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks.
When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains.
If you wonder why it smells so funny when you throw a cigarette butt on the floor of a rental car.
When there are more tools in the truck than in your house.
If you think it's essential to carry 20l of water at all times, even in Johannesburg.
If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop.
If you buy rear view mirrors in bulk.
When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo & odometer.
When you are surprised that the roadworthy certificate mentions the conditions of your seats in the report.
If you wonder why the moss in your trucks inner window sills is greener than your lawn.
When you are used to switching of the headlights before indicating because they interfere.
If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by a Land Rover door lock.
When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present.
When your handbag contains pliers, multimeter, leathermans, insulation tape, 30 amp fuses, compass, imperial bolts and a torch.
If you only dare to use the coin operated car wash after dark on a Sunday night.
If friends don't want you to show up in the afternoon because they've got visitors but then they call you at 8AM on a Sunday morning because they're stuck in the forest somewhere.
When other girls give you a 1-1/8" socket as a present - and they know you'll love it!
You can't decide whether to park your car on a hill in case your starter fails or on a flat in case the hand brake fails.
You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.
You keep degreaser in the shower.
Your mates laugh at your car until theirs needs pulling out of a ditch.
You stop at a petrol station to fill up the oil and check the petrol level.
Your favourite books are the parts catalogue and the repair operation manual.
I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it because he's stuck in the forest and not becaus eof another woman.
When you don't wory when your hubby says he's taking the Landy out for a test drive and he stays out all night long.
When you buy dark nail varnish only to hide the black marks under your nails.
When you ask for "Epsom Green" when buying nail varnish.
When your living room looks like a scrap yard.
When your dishwasher dies because of engine oil sediments.
Compliments of Bernard Cohen - LROC Vice-Chairman.
